Shoplifting is a victimless crime. Like punching someone in the dark. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals…except the weasel. Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true! How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1…2. I've done everything the Bible says — even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff!